My Ex and I Are Going to Share 50/50 Custody; how close Should We Live to Each Other?
Look, you’re getting divorced, and you’re not a big fan of your soon-to-be ex.
This probably means you don’t really want to leave nearby.
You want distance and to start a new life.
That makes complete sense. Don’t blame you in the least.
But, you’re going to share 50/50 custody, and that brings with it some limitations.
The biggest limitation is this: you won’t be able to livev very far apart from your ex.
What I mean by not very far apart is at most 20 miles.
Ideally, you want to live 5 or fewer miles apart.
Here’s why:
- Driving more than 20 miles to take kids to school, church, or to activities isn’t sustainable.
20 miles usually means 30+ minutes one way. Parents can handle that type of drive time for a while, but, in my experience, they can’t do it for more than about a year.
What this means is the parent who has to drive 20+ miles stops exercising as much parent-time. It’s just too much for most people.
Make it easy on yourself, live within 5 miles of your ex.
- Kids tend to have better social lives if both parents live near each other.
When you live close to your ex, your kids are never very far apart from their friends, which means they interact with them more often. If you live 20+ miles away from your ex, you kids will probably live two separate lives.
- You’ll probably have a better parenting relationship with your ex.
When exes live close, they tend to interact and communicate more, which allows them to have a better parenting relationship. This benefits you and your kids.
For example, a better relationship means less conflict and stress. And, you’ll cooperate more with each other (e.g., taking the kids when something unexpected comes up). Better communication also means you’ll be able to openly discuss issues and make good decisions about your kids.
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