Christmas and Divorce

This is a legal blog, and that means it’s full of legal stuff, e.g.: answers to legal questions, legal topics of interest in divorce, case strategy, etc. I want to put that aside for a moment and talk personally about Christmas and divorce.

Divorce is difficult. In fact, it’s one of the most difficult things anyone will ever endure. A primary reason it’s so difficult is because people feel broken. Their families are broken, their emotions are broken, their finances are broken, their sacred religious vows are broken, they’re broken.

And this level of brokenness is accentuated at Christmas. Christmas used to be a time of laughter, togetherness, and joy. In divorce, it is all too often a time of doubt, hurt, and loneliness. It doesn’t have to be this way.

At its heart, Christmas is a celebration of the Christ Child. His birth represents a new beginning in the history of the world. It is a symbol of potential (baby Jesus was not the Christ yet) and triumph of joy over grief (Jesus overcame his humble, broken beginning to triumph over all). So it was for Jesus, so it can be for every divorced family.

Where you might see a broken home, God sees the potential of every human spirit to come together in the worst of times. Where you might see loneliness, God longs for a close relationship with each of us. Where you might see financial ruin, God sees the potential for you to rebuild and succeed with money. Where you might see yourself as a broken vessel, God sees the opportunity to take those pieces and make you in to something better. As C.S. Lewis said in Mere Christianity:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

You are palatial in the eyes of God. You children are palatial in the eyes of God. Divorce doesn’t change that. Nothing changes that.

This season, Christmas will mean so much more than it ever has because it symbolizes your ability to overcome the hardships of divorce. And it serves as a reminder of your true nature and your ability to triumph.

Merry Christmas, and God bless.